Parents: 7 Must Know Concepts to Assist Growing Pains
What if you succeed and they never suffer any disappointments or frustrations? Where will they be and how will they handle life when you are not with him. Can you go everywhere they go--forever?
You may live under the illusion that you control your childs life. You likely have rules in your home, or at least guidelines so they know boundaries and appropriate behaviors.
* When you raise a responsible child you are pretty sure they act with integrity and honor no matter where they are, no matter what they are doing, no matter who they are with. Under those circumstances you have a relationship built on trust, the most solid foundation you can build.
* The bottomline is, your child will experience disappointments when the weather stops an event from taking place, a relationship ends, people are acting differently than expected, school work gets challenging. All kinds of things will happen that will leave your child sad, upset, possibly devastated.
* You will see him feel hurt. You will see him cry. You will see him struggle. Sometimes you will see him in so much pain he does not want to continue living. In that last case take him seriously if he speak such feelings. Get professional help immediately.
If that pain is coming from a physical injury or illness you will feel like you are dying inside. You will want to take away his pain. You cant. The feeling of helplessness can lead you to despair. Remember, you only serve your youngster when you are present, strong, and solution-focused.
* There will always be problems in the world. What most people fail to see is there are always solutions to those problems. You do not have to have all the answers. There is more than one answer.
You simply need to know what questions to ask of whom. That fact plus your faith in God, the Universe, Spirit, whatever term you use, will support you when you think you have no place to turn and no shoulder to lean on.
* When you understand that you are held every moment of every day in Light with Love you will have the faith to move forward regardless of what is happening for your child. Know that your child is counting on you to be there and to be loving.
* You are human. Sometimes your kid goes through things that can feel overwhelming to him certainly and to you watching him. If you were a steadfast rock how would your heart let you know what to do and how to respond?
Please note that I said respond rather than react. When you react to a situation you jump in and take action without considering, well, considering much of anything including consequences.
When you respond you take the time to step back out of your emotions, consider all the possibilities, be creative and think outside the box Plan your action steps. Oh yes. Then TAKE those action steps. Nothing in this world happens unless people act. Wishing and hoping will never change anything. Only action affects a situation.
* What I found raising two terrific children who certainly went through all the emotional and physical pain in life is that love, unconditional love, is the most potent support and all-encompassing ingredient that must be part of every solution. This person is your child. Just because he exists (and remember he exists because you brought him into this world) he deserves to be loved.
It does not matter what he accomplishes or does. All that matters is he is alive. Love him for being. Period. Oh, and tell him, "I love you." And while you are at it, know that the Mother of Family Therapy, Virginia Satir, said it takes 4 hugs a day to survive, 8 to get by, and 12 to thrive. Hint.